February 04, 2006

All about the Years, Frustration in Love

If you don’t obtain what you want, it means you’ll be given a better one. by Antony Robinson.

I knew my last girlfriend Karman when I’m on the college, grade 2. She acted as the most important woman in my early life, about 3 years before Nov. 2003. And no matter what to be talking about; she connected everything in that period. She’s some kind of the girl I like to stay with, and some kind of the girl who filled my memory with sweet. Though maybe unhappiess was more in praxis.

I could not help myself in escaping from the very moment at the way she woke me up. I’m sure you’ll laugh out and feel lucky to own such a lovely girlfriend as me, when you find it out. There’s one time, while I was still sleeping and enjoying my dream, all things what I saw are the dreaming frames. But suddenly, the frames lost, and whole of my eye was filled with another big and dark shining eye! Oh, I remembered that must be Karman’s eyes, she always woke up before I did. But, why I could see nothing else but her eyes in the dream, in such a wide screen? I tried to open both of my eyes; do you know what I saw? Karman was propping up my eye by her finger, and covering her eye on mine! I wasn’t in dream right now. I asked her why. She told me that when I was dreaming, she saw my eyes was turning from left to right, and up to down, she’s curiously wanted to know what I was dreaming about. That’s all why she opened my eye. It’s lucky that she didn’t realize the dreams are generate by my brain but not the eyes at the moment, I’m not sure she would open my skull if she did. :)

Yes, all my memory thought that every day with her was honey moon day. She has the magic that can easily emblaze every single boring day, by a small motion, a simple word, and an expression in her eyes on me. We rented a house not far from our university that time. My part-time job earned around 1,500 to 2,000 per month; but we didn’t get enough money for hiring tax home, or even a motor. Usually, we take a bus two or three stops went home. Our first property is a National automatic washing machine and a water heater, which cost more than 1,500 in all. With other spending, we had to plan the meal cost. We arranged that go to restaurant once a week, and snacked in the other days. Yes, under Karman’s scheme, we saved 10,000 in bank for wedding later, at least I was thinking in this way. I didn’t need to work every night, when I stay at home, I would buy snack and wait for her coming back from school, and then we have our supper together. The food was cook in greasiness, a frequent comportment between us are gluing our two oily lips together. Ha, it was sucks, but we were feeling treacle in it. And when I went out for work, she would clean the house before I back home. Every night, we talked about the whole day, I sometimes brought beer and play games with her. I remember the game we play most named “Being Richest under the sky, three”. And we placed a cushion in front of the kitchen room, marked “home, sweet home”. It was a little noise at night, dogs shouted and our there’s a open air tiny dining-room under our house, the customer in the dinning-room often eat so late to break in on our sleeping. She got angry for this sometime, and I would gently flap her back to make her sleep again. So much fragment in my memory and they build my happiest days in our college time.

After graduate, she became an entertainment journalist for one of the biggest newspaper in our city, G20, and earning 5,000 or maybe more per month. And I start to setup my company. It’s hard to log all what we’ve done in that 3 years, from 2001 to 2003. She left me before our 3 years commemorating day, the third month I arrived S21, in telephone. We phone several times later, but haven’t sawn each other after that, up to now.


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